Your beliefs become your thoughts

Your thoughts become your words

Your words become your actions

Your actions become your habits

Your habits become your character

Your character becomes your destiny.

Mohandas Ghandi


We live our lives based on what we believe about our world, ourselves, our capabilities and our limits.

Where do our beliefs come from?

They mostly originate with what science, religion, culture and family tell us. Some of these beliefs are conscious but most of them live in our subconscious (or unconscious) out of our awareness.

From birth until age 6 to 7 we have little conscious thoughts. We live in a dream-like world, simply soaking up everything around us, which in turn shapes the way we think. We are immersed in the experience of others, simply “downloading”, recording and storing without any judgement and no filter to tell us what is appropriate and what not. The beliefs of others become the foundation of what we hold true about the world and ourselves.

The beliefs of others become programmed into our subconscious. The way others respond to us becomes the blueprint for the way we deal with relationships and life.

Because the blueprints are unconscious we may not be able to see them, when we act them out. They are often not related to what we would like to think what we believe.

Those blueprints are being mirrored back to us in the form of our most intimate close relationships, friendships, careers – and even the condition of our health. Some of the beliefs that were so deeply instilled within us have led to positive and healing ways to deal with life’s tests and others have done just the opposite.

A lot of suffering, conflict and struggle in our lives is related to unconscious negative beliefs. Some of our core beliefs are assumptions or conclusion that we construct, based on our ealiest and most potent fears and hurts.

Example: Imagine you are a child trying to get your mother’s or father’s attention to look at a drawing you made. Sometimes she/he responds, yet other times she/he explodes in anger at being disturbed and threatens to spank you. Your brain and heart register her/his anger and rejection and your hurt and fear.

Over time these encoded memories constellate into negative beliefs about yourself and what you can expect from others. “I am too needy”, “People won’t love me”, “If I bother someone I’ll get punished”, or “Nobody really wants to spend time with me”.

These beliefs are stored in the subconscious and come only to light as a reaction.

Let’s say you are now an adult. Your wife/husband has been preoccupied and is not responding to your question. This can set off the old feeling of not mattering and triggers a reflex to become apologetic, withdrawn or aggressive.

Mirjam Busch-Jarosewitsch

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